I’ve never really had too many problems talking face to face with people I know or even someone I just met but when doing this activity I felt very strange because it struck me as something out of the norm to do some of these communication behaviors. First up was direct eye contact; this was slightly difficult because when having a conversation with someone it is common to take breaks from having direct eye contact. However it was somewhat easy for me because two minutes can go by quickly when you are talking about something interesting. Even though it was not very difficult for only a couple of minutes I still felt that there was a want to look away and have a break from the eye contact even for a few seconds.
As for the second part of eye contact, this I found to be the easiest. During this conversation it was spent talking about a television show that my roommates and myself were having. Although I felt this was slightly cheating since it was an assisted conversation but there was nothing saying that the conversation was suppose to be direct. I did find it quite interesting though that between both situations people seemed more comfortable not making any eye contact then in the first situation where eye contact was maintained.
Finally the “back me up situation,” while doing this part of nonverbal communication I begun to feel rather uncomfortable. I felt as if I was encroaching into my friend’s personal space. Although we are good friend I began noticing that the more I would move forward the uneasier my friend became. But I continued to get closer till they actually ended the conversation short and walked away because they became very uncomfortable. Afterwards I explained the assignment and they thought it was just a strange way to test nonverbal communications.
People react differently when it comes to nonverbal communications and when pressures are put on the “typical” communications. When reflecting on these activities it is unclear exactly how people will react out of the normal situation.
Do you feel that there are any things you do out of the typical norm when having a conversation with people you have known for a while or anything with those you may have just met?
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I guess I try harder to maintain eye contact with people I have just met than with those I have known for a while. Maybe it is just that idea of creating a strong first impression, but I also think that it is because I may get lazy with those people with which I generally have a higher level of comfort. Additionally, I think I am more self-conscious and deliberate with my social cues when talking to someone I have just met than with close friends. I guess I attribute this to wanting to make that good first impression as well.
ReplyDeleteFor those I have just met, I think I smile more and make an effort to ask questions and keep things pleasant. For those I know better I'm still smiley, etc, but I don't feel pressured to be positive or upbeat. I can be more relaxed around those I know. I also like to multi-task, so while talking with those I know I might not have as much eye contact as with those I am meeting for the first time. Since multi-tasking is rude when first meeting someone, I'm much less tempted to do it.
ReplyDeleteWhen I am meeting someone new I try to make an effort to be nice and make eye contact. Though one tends to make less eye contact with people as they get to know them better - I am not that way. The longer I know you the more I feel I should make eye contact with you.
ReplyDeleteSomething that I do that people I know find out of the ordinary is look at people's teeth when they are talking. I do not know why I do it - it is just something that I have done for as long as I can remember.
I think when you are talking with someone who you are close with there is a feeling of comfort. You also have a normal way of talking with one another. If you always have eye contact then they will notice that you are acting differently. When talking to someone you have just met, they don't know you and if you use different body language they won't know the difference.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first meet someone, I usually try to pay really good attention (or pretend to) and just be in an overall good mood. I think people really appreciate it if you are listening and are happy. I also try to ask a lot of questions or say something to keep the conversation going because it's really awkward when you first meet someone to have a lull in the conversation.
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